How to Become Comfortable and Confident in Addressing Conflict

In this course that combines the flexibility of online learning with the impact of personal feedback and coaching, I will provide opportunity for people who have a high level of anxiety when faced with conflict to learn and practice the skills, process and mind-set shifts necessary to become comfortable and confident in conflict situations, and avoid the stress of confrontation.

Pilot Course Opportunity

I am currently accepting participants in a pilot course and participants will have until October 31, 2016 to complete the course. In exchange for a heavily reduced course fee ($197US instead of $1997US), pilot course participants will take the course, and give me their feedback to help me test this new-to-me online format.

If you’d like more information to help you decide, here’s a little more about what you can expect as a pilot participant:

From participants in Pilot #1:

“I feel empowered. The ability to better frame questions, and plan more effectively what I want to say was really helpful. Taking the extra time to plan, and understand what my interests are, allowed me to see the big picture more clearly.”

“I was quite relaxed and low key where normally I would get keyed up, so I was able not to judge, listen and make notes for review. It really helped with communication.”

“Preparing for the collaboration in advance was very helpful in that it helped me understand myself better, as well as my reactions, and motivations. Acknowledging these feelings aided me in moving forward in a positive way.”
“You just removed a weight from my shoulders. I am starting to feel that there are real, tangible ways to move forward and collaborate.”

The Course

addressing conflict course

I’ve heard from many over the course of my career as a mediator and conflict trainer and coach that they hate conflict, that even thinking about it can make them sick to their stomach, nervous and afraid – that they often prefer to give in to other people’s demands and ignore their own dissatisfaction rather than talk about the problem and assert their needs. Though the training I’ve offered in the last twenty years has helped people learn the skills they can use to address conflict effectively, for people who regularly lose sleep over everyday conflict, without direct coaching sometimes choosing “flight” over “fight” seems easier when it comes to using the skills to address their own differences. In my mediation practice, I spend time with each party individually to help them prepare for face to face conflict solving, and that helps to increase the comfort level, but not every conflict is something you’d hire a mediator for.

How will the course help you?

During the course, I’ll combine the highly impactful interpersonal skills I teach in the classroom with the coaching techniques I’ve used to help my mediation clients prepare for difficult face to face conflict solving, into a coached step by step process to prepare you to address a real conflict in your life.

Doing portions of the course online will increase access to these effective skills: participants will have the flexibility to access the lessons and do the homework on their own schedule, and will avoid paying for costly one-on-one individual training and coaching, for which I charge between $150 and $350 an hour.

addressing conflictYou’ll walk away from the course with a process you can use over and over to prepare for and address conflict. If you build on the learning and success you’ll have with that process by continuing to apply it, you will build confidence in your ability to address conflict with relative ease. Over time, as you master the skills and use them preventatively, you’ll notice less and less conflict in your day to day life, and, when it does arise, as conflict inevitably does, you’ll be more likely to see it as opportunity, and feel confident in your ability to deal with it collaboratively.

Imagine what it would be like to go into a stressful conflict-filled situation feeling prepared and confident you have the skills to address it in a way that leaves everyone, including you, feeling valued and satisfied their needs will be met. With practice, it is absolutely within reach.

What will the pilot look like?

I’ve set this course up to walk you through every step of preparing to address conflict, and will be giving you feedback and coaching as you move through them.

The pilot is a way for me to get comprehensive feedback for this new, online format that will help me to develop and launch the full course. The pilot will include the core components of the full course and is built to be accessed on your own schedule – you will have the flexibility to access the lessons and accompanying homework when it’s convenient for you.

After the first lesson, each participant will choose a practice case – a low level conflict situation in your life that you will use to practice and apply the skills throughout the course. Your practice case should be significant enough that it’s caused you discomfort and still bothers you when you think about it, but not serious enough that it would be devastating should it not work out exactly the way you hope. It should also be a situation that does not require immediate resolution, since you’ll be working on it over the duration of the course. The first lesson, and feedback from me, will help you think about the best situation to focus on. Don’t worry if there’s nothing you’re losing sleep over right now – I’ll work with you to identify a perfect practice situation.

addressing conflict courseAs you complete each module, you will have access to a new lesson and homework activities that help you apply the learning to your practice case. You’ll send that homework to me for feedback and coaching.  You’ll be able to access these lessons on your own schedule and I’m estimating that you’ll spend 30-60 minutes on each module, reviewing the material and doing the homework (and, this is a pilot, so that’s part of what you’ll be giving me feedback on).

You’ll have a lot of individual support from me during the pilot. You’ll submit the homework worksheets to me after each lesson, with any questions you have, and receive emailed feedback at each step. After module 4, you’ll book a time with me to have a 20-30 minute coaching call, during which I will work with you to make sure you know exactly what your own set of unique criteria for a satisfying outcome in your chosen situation is – a crucial step in the process. And, you’ll be able to email me with questions as often as you need to. I’ll be here to help you figure out whatever you’re stuck on and support you to stay on track. Knowing where people get stuck will be of huge value to me, as it will signal places in the course material I need to strengthen, so I’ll be prompting you for that information and making sure you have the support you need to work through it to achieve results.

Of course, your results and success depends on you doing the work. And, I want you to succeed so I will provide all the support you need to achieve the course outcomes.

The pilot will be very low-tech. I want to know I’ve made the course as effective as it can be before I spend a lot of time creating fanciness. Gathering feedback from you about what works and working with you to make sure you achieve results when something doesn’t work as well, will help me to create the best possible course. For the pilot, you’ll be receiving weekly lessons via email (I’ll be using power point videos and submit-able homework sheets), and we’ll use a simple technology for group and individual coaching calls.

A few times along the way, I’ll be checking in with you to get your feedback about how the course is going, and whether there are additional things I can do to make sure you achieve the course outcomes. Feedback forms will be easy to complete online surveys about your experience and impacts. The full course, once I launch it, will be $1997 US. But because, with your feedback, you’ll be helping me develop the best course I can create, I’m offering seats in the pilot for $197 US plus tax.

about kirstin lundAbout Kirstin Lund, B.A., LL.B. (that would be me)

I am a mediator, facilitator and conflict resolution trainer. Since leaving the practice of law in 1996, I have trained thousands of people in conflict resolution, collaboration and communication skills in my capacity as CEO of Settlements Inc. and founding faculty member of UPEI’s Centre for Conflict Resolution Studies. Some of the great people I’ve trained over the years have been kind enough to tell me I did a good job. Check out their reviews here.


As a professional mediator, I am held to high standards of confidentiality. I will never share your personal information or experience without your express permission. During group coaching calls, you will not be required or pressured to share details of your practice case, should you not want to. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable sharing details with me so that I can support you, and I will maintain that confidence during and after the course.


If you’d like to register for one of the seats in the pilot course, you can do so here.

Refund Policy

If you do the course work, submitting all of the homework forms by the course end date of October 31, 2016, and decide that the course was not a good use of your resources, I will happily refund your registration fee! Deadline for requests is October 31, 2016.