The One Reason Conflict Arises

I’ve been mediating interpersonal workplace conflicts since 1996 and in that time, I’ve learned there’s only one reason conflict arises: needs aren’t being met or there’s fear they won’t be met. I’ve trained thousands of people to use a special process that helps them identify those needs and find solutions to meet them that work for all involved. But the skills required to dive deep enough to identify those needs can take years to master. So, I looked for a solution for my students that didn’t require them dedicating the years of practice I have, time they don’t have when the conflicts need to be resolved yesterday.

In my search for that easy short cut for the teams I support, I took every single need I’ve heard in the interpersonal workplace conflicts I’ve mediated over 25 years and boiled them down into what I believe represents close to 100% of the interpersonal needs in most workplaces.

And what resulted was the Collaboration in a Box card deck.

Collaboration in a Box Tool

Collaboration in a Box is an effective and easy-to-use tool that supports team members to pinpoint the needs that must be met in any conflict, creating the foundation for satisfactory solutions. There is actually nothing like it in the world and I’m extremely proud to have created it.

This tool helps co-workers and work teams to very quickly get to the heart of what matters, to articulate needs with language that de-escalates conflict, and to have values-based conversations that elevates problem solving from “finding solutions people can live with” to “transforming relationships and preventing conflict.”

The Magic Ingredient in Collaborative Problem Solving

When I first imagined these cards, I thought they would be helpful in supporting my students and the teams I work with to quickly develop the skills I teach them.

They were just meant to be a helpful shortcut.

But in the two years I’ve spent testing them with individuals and teams, I’ve been thrilled to discover how much they transform conversations, how they help people understand themselves and each other better and how that understanding decreases stress and builds relationships.

I’ve seen values-based conversations that used to take hours of skilled facilitation happen in five minutes.

I call them “me in a box”.

In other words, using the cards to identify and articulate needs (that magic ingredient in collaborative problem solving), is like having a skilled mediator in your desk drawer.

How Can I Use the Cards?

I’ve included the cards in my training for the past couple of years, and have discovered so many more uses for them than I imagined – some I’ve identified myself, some are uses my students created themselves and shared with me.

And I’ve decided to pull all of those many uses into a series of one day workshops to teach you how to use the Collaboration in a Box card deck tool to:

• Prevent conflict at the point of origin so it doesn’t become a bigger problem.
• Prepare for and have difficult conversations to make it easier to navigate to a successful solution.
• Strengthen personal decision-making and problem-solving in all aspects of your work.
• Build team engagement and trust for easier, more productive communication.
• Build collaborative workplaces to create a high level of psychological health and safety.
• Coach co-workers and staff in conflict to support them to find collaborative solutions.
• Facilitate difficult conversations between others who need support to resolve conflict.

Courses

The one-day courses can be taken together in a package or you can pick and choose which best fit your needs. Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration is the foundation course and a prerequisite for all of the other courses. You already have this so you can skip right to one or more of the advanced courses!

Shifting From Conflict to Collaboration (Foundation Course)

October 10, 2023 (9:00-4:00), 300 Kent St., Room 319, C.A.S.T., Holland College. This course is a prerequisite for all other sessions.

In this one-day session, we will introduce collaborative communication skills and processes to support good relationships, increase mutual understanding and prevent and address conflict. Participants will have opportunity to learn about their own preferences regarding communication and problem-solving style, and learn and practice the key communication skills of collaboration necessary for preparing for and navigating a difficult conversation. Essential tools for moving forward with good solutions and good relationships, these skills are effective for preventing and addressing conflict, building trust and clarifying expectations.

The Collaboration in a Box tool will be introduced at this session and the tool, as well as all other materials are included.

Building Collaborative Teams

October 23, 2023 (9:00-4:00), Charlottetown. PREREQUISITE: Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration

Having a collaborative workplace culture means psychological safety, supporting team members to avoid burnout, increasing connection and inclusion, and preventing conflict. All the good things. This one-day workshop is all about how to use the Collaboration in a Box tool to build collaborative communication and the relationships necessary for effective teamwork. You will learn and experience multiple uses of the cards that are fun, easy and big-time impactful.

Plus, we will do some “co-creating” and identify new innovative ideas for using this tool to support healthy workplace culture.

Coaching for Effective Conflict Management

November 14, 2023 (9:00-4:00), Charlottetown. PREREQUISITE: Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration

If you are a manager or supervisor, a huge chunk of your time will typically be spent helping your team to resolve conflict. Yes, that’s part of a manager’s job, but you also have other work to do and when interpersonal conflicts erupt, they take way longer than they should because the team members involved don’t have the skills or desire to address it effectively. Mostly they want you to deal with it for them. And you are stuck working overtime doing the work on your own ‘to do’ list.

But if you take care of it for them, they don’t learn how to prevent another conflict from blowing up – and it does, over and over, often until someone quits or is fired. Sound familiar? 

In this one-day workshop, you will learn how to use the Collaboration in a Box tool to coach team members to address and prevent conflict without you marching in and being the judge and jury. And not only can this help resolve conflicts that arise, when you use the processes and tools to coach your whole team, over time you will start to see a more collaborative workplace and happier team members.

And maybe you’ll have time to tackle your ‘to do’ list within working hours. Maybe.

Facilitating Difficult Conversations

November 28, 2023 (9:00-4:00), Charlottetown. PREREQUISITE: Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration

Ok, so you’ve coached team members in conflict prepare to deal with the situation but the coaching hasn’t taken away their nervousness about addressing the conflict and they just can’t or won’t do it without support.

Maybe they say it isn’t worth it, or they worry talking about it will make things worse, or that they’ll forget what they want to say.

Interpersonal conflicts are generally a communication problem that’s gotten bigger over time until those involved are making such negative assumptions about each other they can’t find solutions without support.

In this one-day workshop, you will learn and practice a simple step by step process using the cards to facilitate a difficult conversation between co-workers that leads to agreement about how to resolve the conflict and improve relationships and communication.

That improved relationship will eventually lead to increased comfort and skills to have those difficult conversations without you. Fingers crossed.

Your Host

Since you’ve taken training from me in the past, you already know me, but…I’m Kirstin Lund, B.A., J.D., owner of collaborationschool.com, and creator of Collaboration In A Box. I have been providing services as a mediator, facilitator, and conflict resolution coach and trainer since leaving the practice of law in 1996. I have taught thousands of people how to effectively resolve conflict, both at the UPEI Centre for Conflict Resolution Studies and through my own company, teaching courses in mediation, conflict resolution, and collaboration and communication skills. I am a certified Myers Briggs practitioner specializing in personality type and its impact on workplace conflict.

Program Cost

• Per workshop: $395 plus HST
• Four Session Bundle: $1395 plus HST (this is for new students without the pre-requisite)

FAQs

What if I already have the pre-requisite?

Since you have already learned the introductory skills from me, whether in a one-day course or as part of a longer program, you have the required prerequisite and I have a special bundle for you:

• $1045 plus HST (with the option to come to the foundation course, Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration, as a refresher for an additional $50 plus HST)

What if I’m an early bird and I want a worm?

It’s not usually my thing to do an early bird price, but because I’m launching this new series and I’d love to fill it, I thought it would be fun. So this early bird price is just for my former students who already have the pre-requisite:

• If you register by September 29, the three advanced courses bundle is $950 (plus the option to come to the foundation course, Shifting from Conflict to Collaboration, as a refresher for an additional $50, for a total of $1000 plus hst).

What if I don’t want to be the only one in my workplace with these skills?

If the idea of your whole staff having and using these skills sounds like a dream come true, send me a note and we can find a time to chat about a customized training for your team (or send this to your manager and suggest they contact me!)

What’s included?

Courses include all materials and the Collaboration in a Box card deck tool (one deck per course bundle, or one deck per course when you register at the regular price, non-bundle price).

Registration