Have you ever felt sick to your stomach just thinking about conflict?
Do you worry you won’t be able to say what you need to say when you need to say it? Are you someone who agrees to things that make you uncomfortable because you don’t want to argue?
I didn’t grow up learning how to resolve conflict.
Things didn’t get worked out in my family. Instead, the message I received when I argued with my sisters was to “stop it”. And stopping it usually meant sucking it up, steaming inside or employing some sort of passive aggressive act of violence against each other’s stuffed animals.
Either way, conflict didn’t get resolved, it got absorbed. I learned to avoid or attack, depending on how important “winning” was in the moment. As a result, my early adulthood was peppered with relationships and jobs that I ended quickly if they weren’t easy or perfect.
Then I discovered the skills that changed everything.
When I graduated from law school and had the opportunity to take negotiation and mediation training, everything changed. While the focus of the training was using the skills professionally to support others, I also began using them to address situations I wasn’t happy with at work and in my personal life.
Using the skills and process professionally as a mediator and conflict trainer and coach, over time I realized that a deeper dive into what I had been taught to do led to transformation I wasn’t expecting – for myself and my clients.
I experimented with going deeper and deeper and eventually developed steps that took the process from one that helped people to find solutions they could live with, to one that transformed relationships and prevented conflict; a process that left people truly satisfied and excited about moving forward in innovative ways they couldn’t have conceived otherwise. I’d go so far as to say it even transformed people’s sense of self.
Since then, I’ve trained thousands of people to use these transformative skills.
Over the course of my twenty-two year career as a mediator and conflict trainer and coach, I have trained professionals who regularly lose sleep over everyday conflict to use a unique process that takes them from feeling anxious and uncomfortable to feeling confident in addressing conflict so that everyone feels valued and appreciated, heard and understood.
Participants in my training have said this about the skills and process they’ve learned:
“I feel empowered. The ability to better frame questions, and plan more effectively what I want to say was really helpful. Taking the extra time to plan, and understand what my interests are, allowed me to see the big picture more clearly.”
“I was quite relaxed and low key [in conflict] where normally I would get keyed up, so I was able not to judge, listen and make notes for review. It really helped with communication.”
You can learn these skills, too.
Although conflict is inevitable, it doesn’t have to be painful. When managed effectively it can be beneficial – transformational, even – to both relationships and workplaces.
This course is for people with a high level of anxiety when faced with workplace conflict. It combines the flexibility of online learning with the impact of personal feedback and coaching. Over 6 weeks, you will learn how to become comfortable and confident in conflict situations, and avoid the stress of confrontation – all while strengthening relationships and increasing productivity.
You can feel confident in the face of conflict.
Imagine what it would be like to go into a conflict-filled situation feeling prepared and confident. To have the skills to address it in a way that leaves everyone, including you, feeling valued and satisfied their needs have been met. Better yet, to learn how to prevent uncomfortable conflict to ensure good relationships and peaceful environments. You don’t have to sacrifice your own needs. It is absolutely within reach to become a capable, confident problem-solver.
“Preparing for the conflict in advance was very helpful in that it helped me understand myself better, as well as my reactions, and motivations. Acknowledging these feelings aided me in moving forward in a positive way.”
Who is this course for?
This course is for people in professional workplace settings who:
- highly value good relationships
- feel unappreciated and taken advantage of by co-workers
- are afraid that addressing conflict will damage relationships
What will the course look like?
During the course, I’ll combine highly impactful interpersonal skills with a coached step by step process to prepare you to address conflict. 90-minute classes will take place live once a week for 6 weeks. The format will include presentation, demonstration, skills practice and small and large group discussions. In between sessions, self-reflection homework activities will support you apply the learning in real life.
During the course you will learn:
In addition, you’ll learn:
- How to Effectively Prepare for Difficult Conversations
- How to Say What You Want to Say in a Way Others Can Hear You
- How to Acknowledge Understanding so Others Really Feel Heard
- A Simple Step-by-Step Process to Shift From Conflict to Collaboration
I’ve set this course up to walk you through every step of preparing to address conflict, and will be giving you feedback and coaching as you move through them. And I’ll be here to help you figure out whatever you’re stuck on and support you to stay on track.
Here’s what’s included in the program:
During the course, you’ll be receiving:
- 6 weekly 90-minute classes via zoom – these will be recorded in case you need to miss one or want to review it again
- Access to a class website with all of the downloadable materials and submit-able homework forms
- Personal feedback on homework from me
- A powerful 45 minute coaching call with me to identify your unique criteria for satisfying solutions to conflict
Here are the course dates and times:
Thursday, May 16, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Thursday, May 23, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Thursday, May 30, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Thursday, June 6, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Thursday, June 13, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Thursday, June 20, 3:00-4:30 ADT
Why choose an online course?
There are books you can read that will outline skills and process for addressing conflict. There are face-to-face courses you can access as well. Or you can hire a professional mediator like me to coach you as you prepare for addressing conflict. A $15 book will give you some theory, but often do little to help you develop skills and confidence. My face-to-face courses, at $325 per day, support skills building and practice but do not provide one-on-one personalized support. When I do provide one-on-one individual training and coaching, I charge $300 an hour.
This live on-line course combines the knowledge and skills building of face-to-group group training with personalized one-on-one support. If I were to break the cost of the course out, here’s what it would look like:
- 15 hours of class time, including materials: $750
- Personal homework feedback: $300
- Coaching Call, including email follow up: $300
- Total Value: $1350 (but – of course – you won’t pay that!)
What You’ll Walk Away With
You’ll finish the course with a process you can use over and over to prepare for and address conflict. If you build on the learning and success you’ll have with the process by continuing to apply it, you will build confidence in your ability to address conflict with relative ease.
Over time, as you master the skills and use them preventatively, you’ll notice less and less conflict in your day to day life, and, when it does arise, as conflict inevitably does, you’ll be more likely to see it as opportunity, and feel confident in your ability to deal with it collaboratively.
Of course, your results and success depends on you doing the work. And, I want you to succeed so I will provide all the support you need to achieve the course outcomes.
“You just removed a weight from my shoulders. I am starting to feel that there are real, tangible ways to move forward and collaborate.”
I am accepting a maximum of 20 participants in this 6-session course that will begin May 16 and end June 20. The sessions will be 90 minutes, from 3:00-4:30 ADT.
What’s the Cost of Not Taking Action?
When you value relationships and are uncomfortable with conflict, you often ignore the discomfort you feel when someone says or does something that triggers a negative reaction in you. You hope the other person will recognize the unfairness, or you tell yourself it’s not a big deal and you can live with it for the sake of having a peaceful work environment.
Sometimes you’re right and it’s really not a big deal. But if you ignore those little things that make you uncomfortable over and over, resentment builds and trust breaks down. You begin to believe the other person doesn’t care about having a good relationship with you. Over time, you become suspicious of their motives and start to dread interacting with them. Sometimes you’ll lie awake at night worrying about the conflict.
Eventually, you get to a place of deciding you either have to ‘stand up for yourself’ or avoid them altogether. Either way, the good relationship you tried to preserve by staying silent is damaged and the discomfort you were trying to avoid has multiplied. This leads to feeling de-valued and unappreciated and, over time, typically leads to a complete break-down of the relationship and a lack of satisfaction for your work.
Only 20 people will have the opportunity to participate in this transformational course. When the course is full, registration will close.
Refund Policy: I’d be happy to issue a full refund up to ten days PRIOR to the beginning of the course, after which no refunds will be available.